Life in the IEP Tribe

Stories and Strategies from the IEP World

Jared & Laura Curtis Season 1 Episode 1

Let us know what's up

How does one navigate the often challenging yet rewarding world of special education? Join us on our podcast journey as we unravel our personal and professional experiences as special education teachers and parents of a child with special needs. We promise to offer a heartfelt exploration of the unique paths that led us here, filled with unexpected opportunities and a shared passion for uplifting students who often go unnoticed. Through candid anecdotes and reflections, we reveal how our roles in the classroom and at home have shaped our understanding of this complex field, highlighting the profound impact educational decisions can have on both educators and families alike.

Listen in as we tackle the challenges of IEP meetings and the delicate balance between discipline and empathy in parenting. We share insights into the comprehension abilities of students with special needs, discuss the long-term impact of educational decisions, and address the sensitive topics surrounding discipline. Our podcast, "Life in the IEP Tribe," aims to be a supportive resource for parents, teachers, and networks, fostering collective learning and shared experiences within the special education community. Through our stories, we hope to encourage understanding and collaboration, providing a personal perspective that blends professional experiences with life at home.

Speaker 1:

hey, laura hey, jared I got an idea what's up I think that we should start a podcast that could be fun yes, I agree. Now, what do we want to talk about? Maybe sports?

Speaker 2:

I like sports, all right. I I don't know if I know enough about anyone really to talk about it.

Speaker 1:

What about politics?

Speaker 2:

Cringe.

Speaker 1:

I got an idea. What about we do a podcast that talks about what it's like in a special education classroom working with special needs?

Speaker 2:

students.

Speaker 1:

And then, on top of that, what about we talk? Or how about now? What about how about we talk about what it's like in the home raising a child that has special needs?

Speaker 2:

I think that would be very good.

Speaker 1:

Now, what do we have to bring to the table on that conversation? Why would anybody want to listen to us?

Speaker 2:

I have no clue.

Speaker 1:

Yeah me either. They're doing us a favor because we said, hey, we're going to do a podcast, Please listen.

Speaker 2:

Well, I think that both of us are special education teachers and we've had different experiences in different special education classrooms, and so I've had experience as a paraprofessional in a special education classroom. I've also had paraprofessional experience in general education classrooms that had students with special needs or disabilities and serve them, and then currently I'm teaching in a small group adapted curriculum classroom, and on top of that we got Xander. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Our guy.

Speaker 2:

The best part of it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and so you know, same here. If I took a step back and told the entire story. One, we'd be here forever, Right. Two, nobody wants to hear the whole thing. But it's funny that when we mentioned to people, um, that we both work in special education, they're like oh, that makes sense because of xander, our 19 year old special needs son. And the funny thing is that had absolutely nothing to do with either one of us wanting to get in to special education. As a matter of fact, how did you end up there?

Speaker 2:

I ended up there as a, at least in my first um job. As a, para was in a special education classroom, um, because I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do, and so I was um, had a friend, I had my. I called her my, she was my georgia mom and she prompted me. Okay, I want you in school and I want you subbing after Christmas.

Speaker 1:

Okay yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am.

Speaker 2:

And she said, okay, after the summer I want you in school, not in school subbing, in school to teach. I was like, okay. So I did that and I was like, okay, I'm going to go teach. And I'm like, well, maybe I'll be a PE teacher.

Speaker 2:

And a job opening came up at the elementary school where my boys went to school and it was for a special education paraprofessional, the county that we work in. They departmentalized their disabilities and so, depending on the disabilities, they would send all of the students with that disability to one school or a couple of schools. And so the school that I was at had the emotional behavior disorder students, which is EBD, behavior disorder students, which is EBD, and so I helped the special education teacher with K through five. There's two groups K2, 3, 5. And so I bounced back and forth helping them with their different academics and some coping skills and strategies, and I absolutely loved it.

Speaker 2:

Had to take a little break for some reasons that had nothing to do with the students, and then, when I came back to being a paraprofessional, I was in the gen ed classroom and I thought at that time I wanted to go back to finish my schooling, but this time I thought I was going to do guidance. So I'm just going to do guidance because I want to help these kids, and I quickly learned that, yeah, those guidance counselors don't get to do that as much as they'd like to. So I started thinking, well, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? I'm going to go back to special education, and so that's one way I can help the students that, um, not always, but often get overlooked. I always had a draw to just the underdog, and so that's what I decided okay. Okay, I'm gonna go back to school and get into this sped world and that's why we got married, isn't it?

Speaker 1:

because you're all about the underdog no well it's funny is that, while you're telling this story, I remember you calling me and saying hey, I think I just did a thing and I was like okay, what's up? Yeah, I I'm back in school and I was like oh, because we didn't. I don't think we even really talked about a whole lot like in depth up to that point or didn't have a plan for you to go back to school.

Speaker 2:

It's just one of those.

Speaker 1:

Yep, oh, hey, jared, by the way, I'm going to school and I thought that was excellent. I thought it was great and it was really neat to be able to, um, to be a part of that experience. Did I cut you off? Was there something else? You were saying? I have a bad habit of doing that my job.

Speaker 1:

No, my story is a little bit different, but not totally, because the idea was brought to fruition in the same manner. So I had finished my undergrad and I had no idea what I wanted to do. It was in psychology and I had zero interest in being a therapist or anything like that. I had zero interest in being a therapist or anything like that. As a matter of fact, the only reason I went after that degree is because I originally went for a business degree and looked at the, the, the graduation plan, and realized I did not care about business at all. So I finished that degree and I was trying to figure out what am I going to do. So my dad, who is a pastor here locally, says, hey, why don't you consider going to seminary? I thought that's cool, right, I have. My faith is very important to me, the Bible is very important to me. So I thought, sure, why not? So then, while I started doing that, we needed to generate some funds.

Speaker 1:

So in the midst of being in school, I and you talked me into it. Hey, why don't you sub, why don't you sub? So I was like, cool, I'll sub. And I remember it just like yesterday. I was subbing in one of the special education classrooms and it was just me and this one student and this little boy, like he, climbed up me like I was a ladder, looked into my ear and said Mr Curtis, you got ear pudding. And immediately I was like you know what this is for me? So I went back to you and said, laura, if I could do this for the rest of my life, I think I'd be happy, I think it would just be outstanding. And then it rolled on from there.

Speaker 1:

But then with that, as you said earlier with Xander, there was a lot of trial and error, a lot of laughing and a lot of tears, and it was a difficult process because we're talking about, at the time, a child that was, uh, he was eight years old when we got together and he wouldn't eat anything solid. That we knew about and we'll talk about those stories later. Um, he, he wouldn't eat food, he, he wouldn't sit down. I mean, the kid was like a million miles an hour, every moment of every day, and it was difficult, and so we did again. We worked through a lot of things, there's a lot of trial and error, and we learned a lot from those experiences. So I think I can speak for you when I say we don't believe that expertise comes from having a piece of paper oh, no Right. We don't believe that expertise comes from your own personal experience.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

But when you can take that and put it together and have conversations with people that have either you know that education or experience and come together and talk about it. I was listening to you talk about your Georgia mom and what's interesting is that you know it took her to influence you to move in this direction. That eventually led to you learning more about special education, and I think that often people minimize the impact that they can have in others' lives, people outside that don't. Maybe you don't have a special needs child or you're not a special education teacher or you're not in contact with people that need special needs ever. But you find yourself with friends or somebody may know somebody, and they have that conversation and to really kind of get yourself into the mix, I mean I remember when Xander was oh, he was little, I think, golly, he was probably two years old and I can remember my mom saying hey, listen, I think you really need to get him looked at because I think there's some developmental delays going on.

Speaker 1:

And I had no idea what I was looking at. I had no clue. I mean, yeah, I was a dad, but I don't know about you. I didn't get the how to Raise a Child with Autism handbook. When Xander was born, it wasn't something they handed to me at the hospital, right? I can remember sitting in his IEP meetings and just feeling so confused and it wasn't the teacher's fault. I mean, xander's been in our district his entire school life and just feeling so confused and it wasn't the teacher's fault.

Speaker 1:

I mean Xander's been in our district his entire school life and I think you'll agree with me when I say his teachers have been amazing, absolutely From the very first day he stepped into special education, pre-k, to where he is right now in the high school, and it's been a complete blessing to have these people that did their very best to kind of bring me along and then bring us along to help teach us what these IEP meetings are about, what an IEP is, what a goal is right I mean, we know what goals are, but in the world of IEP, what does that mean? What are the objectives right? All of these things. And so we kind of walk into this world that we haven't been prepared for and it's very different than your typical developing family, developing family. So, laura, what are some things that maybe that we can discuss, that would help anybody that would want to listen to us.

Speaker 2:

I think that I know one question we get asked a lot of times is especially with some of the students that struggle a little bit more with their intellect or that struggle with communicating. A lot of times we get questions like well, do they even understand? And so I think that would be a good topic to discuss it.

Speaker 2:

You know the amount of understanding that they have and, um, and then also one that we're kind of kind of coming up on is what happens after graduation, and there's a lot that happens a long time before they graduate that impacts what happens when they graduate and so so I think that I mean that's one that we've kind of muddled through the progress and with with being the first time that you know we've dealt with this and and we teach elementary school, so you know what happens when they graduate and what are the options and what do I need to do to get them to these options.

Speaker 1:

Right and do, and to tie onto that, do the decisions that we as parents and teachers and and those that work with special education children and students does.

Speaker 1:

What happen, what happens at the elementary school level is that going to impact where they are in middle school, where they are in high school? And you know, that's one of those things that's real easy for us to kind of just figure. Well, you know, we get through elementary school, we get through middle school, and then it'll all come out in the wash in high school. And what we're finding out again, both by being educated and in education and working with our own son, is that there's a lot that goes into it over the course of the child's academic career that can make a big difference on what path they end up on moving on through school. Because, like you said, it's one of those we're so quick to assume that students don't understand when they can't necessarily communicate in a typical manner, and so we can, by default, sometimes miss opportunities in working with them at that lower level that are going to help guide them in the direction that they need to go. So there's something that we're going to talk about as well.

Speaker 2:

Right. Well, there's other questions that we get asked and kind of going along with that Well, do they understand? A lot of times we get that question when it's talking about repercussions of their action or consequences and discipline. And we get that question a lot like well, if I have my child sit timeout, do they even understand? Or you know, what kind of punishment will work? Do they even understand why they're having this happen or why they're doing this? And so I think talking about consequences and discipline is a tough subject because nobody wants to feel like that. They're picking on the kid with the disability, right, right, and I think there's a lot of time. There's a false sense of I'm sorry, sympathy, but there's a false sense of they feel bad for their child.

Speaker 1:

And I think that's probably another conversation we'll have too, about the and um, whether that's necessary and whatnot yeah, and we could go on and on and continue to create this list of things to talk about, but we've decided to call the podcast life in the IEP tribe because, as we've been disgusting discussing not disgusting, but sometimes disgusting things happens and maybe we'll delve into some of those stories as well disclaimer before we start right.

Speaker 2:

Anybody that has like weak stomachs.

Speaker 1:

We don't need any of that going right so, but what we have found out, and the reason, the whole driving point behind the podcast, is that to become effective parents, teachers, any support to children of special education is to be effective, we can't do it alone oh no right.

Speaker 1:

We could not walk into a room anywhere and say here's everything that we did and this is why we're seeing these benefits from this progress in xander um. As a matter of fact, we just had a great conversation not too terribly long ago with a mother that you know, relatively new student to us, and and we were able to say, oh, oh, my goodness, no, that's fantastic. Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. That sounds great, you know, because there was a parent that was invested in into seeing their child progress as far as they possibly could and that allows us to come alongside and be a team member, part of the tribe, part of the family that helps this student holistically progress and become the best person, could, become the best, to contribute as much as he possibly can to society. And that's really, at the end of the day, I think that us as teachers, as parents of special needs kids, is that we want to see them be productive members of society, absolutely, and sometimes we need help figuring out what that is.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

So there you have it, Jared Curtis, Laura Curtis, doing a podcast. We're calling it Life in the IEP Tribe and we are here to help create a sense of community and hope for all of those that may feel like they're alone. Now, I know that you spend a good bit of time. You're a part of different like Facebook groups, special educators, and seeing a lot of the things that they go through and sometimes there's funny stories.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

But a lot of times that's not the case. A lot of times it's teachers that feel like they're stranded on an island by themselves, and you know that IEP that individualized for the student doesn't count for the parent and the teacher. Right, right, you don't have to do this on your own. You don't have to be just an individual trying to direct students, trying to direct your children. Allow others to come alongside of you.

Speaker 2:

Even just with us and in our own team. I don't know how many times that we've had conversations with our staff and they've brought things up like oh hey, I noticed that so-and-so is doing this. Do you think that they would like to do this, or what do you think about trying that?

Speaker 2:

And so we need a tribe at work and it can't just be the two of us and trying to get everything together and do everything for these students. And so, as far as a tribe goes at work, that's, you know, our team is our tribe and they invest in these kids, and you know, and without them it would just be you and I pulling our hair out, and not only that I mean, my goodness, I couldn't imagine what our jobs would be like if we didn't have the team that we do and if they were just, you know, warm bodies, right, we're just filling spots.

Speaker 1:

It would be a nightmare. But we are fortunate enough to be surrounded by people that love the kids and want to see them again, want to see them succeed. But then, even as parents we have, we have people in our lives that came alongside of us and still, to this day, do right To help Xander even continue to develop at the age of 19.

Speaker 2:

Right, there's definitely people in our personal life and in our journey with Xander that we couldn't have gotten to where we are today. So that tribe is so important and, like you said, we're hoping that this brings a sense of community. If there's somebody that doesn't have that and either a parent or an educator or a grandparent or a friend paraprofessional that are feeling that I'm trying and I'm trying and I'm trying and I'm getting nowhere, hopefully we can bring some encouragement and some resources and maybe answer some questions or, if anything, tell a story and listen to one of our stories and they can get a laugh.

Speaker 1:

Right, at the very least, I like that you mentioned resources, because one of the things that we plan on doing as a staple in our podcast is to have some of those supports and some of those resources to have conversations with occupational therapists. Right, how do I know if my kid even needs occupational therapy?

Speaker 2:

What is occupational therapy?

Speaker 1:

They don't have a job, Exactly Talking to SLPs or speech language pathologists to help answer questions about development there. We plan to bring our paras in on this because they are just. They have so much to offer to help us out. Who am I missing?

Speaker 2:

ABA therapist, aba therapist, aba therapist.

Speaker 1:

We're going to reach out to some yeah, because that's what we found. Studies tell us that one of the how am I going to say this that students with disabilities most of the time bring with them undesired behavior, inappropriate behavior Right time bring with them undesired behavior, inappropriate behavior, right. There's, of course, so when we will talk about the whys behind all that and moving forward, but it is a common thing. It is a common thing, and and why is that? Is it just that your kids bad?

Speaker 1:

well, no it's not, they're just bad kids, but, at the same time, it's not always that they have these behaviors because of their exceptionality or that they don't know any better.

Speaker 1:

Right and so we're going to talk our way through all of that. So, again, we want this to be a resource. We want this to be an opportunity to help educate each other. As a matter of fact, if you want to shoot us an email with a question or a story, you can send that over to us at see if I can remember it already. Here we go life in the iep at gmailcom and we'll be sure to check it out. If it's something that you don't want to end up in one of these podcasts, just go ahead and and make that. So I'm getting a weird look.

Speaker 2:

Is it life in the IEP or life in the IEP tribe?

Speaker 1:

Life in the IEP tribe. Okay, what did I say?

Speaker 2:

Life in the IEP.

Speaker 1:

Oh, no Life in the IEP tribe at gmailcom. Did you get that?

Speaker 2:

Sorry, it's been a long day.

Speaker 1:

It has. It has, but it's been a long day. It has. It has, but it's been a good one. Yes, so again, hopefully this can be a resource for you, and if not, that's cool. Just find something that it might be and send it to them, and if you don't like it, then we don't like you. No, that's not right. I shouldn't say that. It's okay, it's okay to have our own opinions.

Speaker 2:

We're not for everybody.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, at least we're for each other. Yes. I like that, so until next time again. I'm Jared Curtis, I'm here with my wife, Laura Curtis, and we will see you later.

Speaker 2:

Bye.