Life in the IEP Tribe
Join us as we dive into the world of special education with two educators who have walked the same path as many of you. In addition to teaching in self-contained and collaborative settings, our hosts bring a unique perspective to the challenges and triumphs of raising a special needs child. From classroom strategies to heartfelt family moments, they offer practical advice, empathy, and a community of support. Discover how their personal experiences can shed light on your journey and gain valuable insights into navigating the complexities of special education both in and out of the classroom. Welcome to the tribe!
Life in the IEP Tribe
When Scissors Meet Sensory Needs: Transforming the Haircut Experience
Every parent knows the challenge of a child's first haircut—the tears, the squirms, the fear. Now imagine that experience amplified by sensory sensitivities or communication barriers. For countless families of children with disabilities, something as routine as a haircut can become an overwhelming ordeal.
Meet Brianna Wells, a hairstylist who transformed her career path from aspiring kindergarten teacher to specialized children's stylist. Working at Cookie Cutters salon in Yulee, Florida, Brianna has created a safe space where children with sensory sensitivities, autism, and various disabilities can receive haircuts in a supportive environment. With approximately 40% of her clientele having special needs, she's developed innovative approaches through careful observation and communication.
The magic in Brianna's technique lies not in specialized training but in her willingness to listen and adapt. "I focus on acknowledging their comfort in whatever way they express it and leading with that," she explains. Whether using sensory toys for distraction, learning from ABA specialists who accompany clients, or tracking detailed notes about each child's preferences, Brianna tailors each haircut experience to the individual. Her success stories include children who once required 45-minute appointments filled with tears now sitting calmly for 15-minute cuts.
Beyond techniques, Brianna emphasizes the importance of persistence. "Don't give up. Be persistent. The more consistent you are with these experiences, the better results you'll see," she advises parents. This philosophy mirrors what other specialists in the disability field consistently recommend—doing the challenging work now creates independence and confidence later.
Whether you're a parent of a child with sensory sensitivities or a professional working with special needs populations, this episode offers valuable insights into creating inclusive experiences. Subscribe now to hear more conversations with experts who are reimagining how we serve children with disabilities in everyday settings.
so we are crawling out of the starting blocks of for this episode. At the time of the recording, we have seven days of school left. Seven yes seven. It's been a long, hard, treacherous road and I'm ready for that summer break. You know how we get off for two months, right, all teachers, they get off for two months. It's like I think some people don't understand that we don't get paid for those two months, so that doesn't even make a whole lot of sense.
Speaker 1:But, I digress. It doesn't even make a whole lot of sense, but I digress. So we've had some fantastic guests with us over our long 20-something episodes of experience and it's been really cool because we've had teachers that Xander's worked with, we've had friends of ours that are teachers, and so there's all these really cool connections and different people we get to talk to. But for this episode we get to talk to a young lady that we have known for a long time.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:As a matter of fact, even longer. Yeah, like, I think, middle schools. I think you're right, does it sound right? You're in? Yeah, I was 12, almost 20 years, yeah, and this, this poor girl, she's had to deal with not only me in her life all that time, her dad in her life all that time, but her dad and I becoming fantastically good friends as well, and so I'm excited to talk to her and to see what she has to say, because she is well, she overcame that and is doing some great things. So I'm going to go ahead and let Laura introduce our guest for this episode.
Speaker 2:All right. So, as you stated, we have known her for many, many years and seen, I think, many different phases of her life and, as far as being involved with children, she was one of Xander's babysitters during some points of his life and at one point she wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. But she's also extremely creative, artistic and talented and she found a way to mesh her want to serve children and her artistic abilities by going to cosmetology school and she's found her niche in niche, niche whatever.
Speaker 1:Well, down here we just call it nichey.
Speaker 2:Okay, we in the South the Niche and she and she cuts children's hair and she has really created a name for herself because she welcomes and encourages the parents of children with disabilities to come see her, because she does a fantastic job in in working with those children. And this is Brianna Wells I keep trying to call you Kilner.
Speaker 3:It's okay. Legally it's Kilner, but I'll take the Wells, okay, okay.
Speaker 2:So, like Jared said, we've known her for a long, long time and we get so excited that we get to refer and recommend her for some of our students. And she's done research and reading and experience and working with students with special needs, especially the ones that sensory sensitivities and um, she has found a way to to put it all together and still get these young as haircut and that's huge Cause.
Speaker 1:That was one of those things. That was Xander. It just took us forever to find Like. I used to just shave the kid's head and it sounds horrible, but that's all I could do. I'd take some clippers too, because he hated the sound of the shears cutting the hair, and that really bugged him. But what I do want to say, too, is not only does she do this, she does it well, because there's a lot of people out there that have jobs in certain fields that they really shouldn't right. That's true, and I mean, we know teachers, we know politicians I think all politicians are horrible, but anyway, I digress. But she's good at it as well. So, yes, go ahead. We're going to start with the questions.
Speaker 2:Well, I think I just want to start and lay the foundation. So how did this happen, breon? How did you go from possible kindergarten teacher to cosmetology school, to where you are now?
Speaker 3:Well, some of my life choices didn't align with the direction I was going at the time, admittedly. So I kind of had a hard year once I stopped going to college and I just worked a lot. Um and through that I was also doing my friend's hair, like in my bathroom. So I kind of realized I like to do it. And I started dating my husband now and he was like so why don't you do it? And I was like, oh, I wasn't expecting that challenge. But you're right, why don't I do it? So I decided to move in with him, move to Jacksonville and take it on.
Speaker 3:And you know, I really didn't think I was that good at it at first, to be completely honest with you. So I ended up fast forward, I graduate, get into my dream salon, and it was really hard. I was met with a lot of personal conflicts and so I walked away from it for a while and I worked at Starbucks and well, I had Harper, and then I went back to Starbucks because that's what I did when I was in cosmetology school and that's just what I did for a while. And then I ended up back in another hair salon and didn't like it. I didn't like the location. So I quit and went back to Starbucks and had Landon. So meanwhile all this, while I'm pregnant with Landon they open up cookie cutters in Yulee and I was like, interesting, I've never heard of a children's salon. I might be able to do that, but I want them to be open for a year before I consider that.
Speaker 3:So I waited and I was pregnant, so I kind of had to wait a little bit and continued my time at Starbucks until I was done and about four months after I had him, I saw they were hiring on Indeed. So I just kind of went after it and I went in and well, covid happened. I got hired, covid happened. But my first day in there I was like what am I doing here? What did I walk into? Because it was just insane.
Speaker 3:I was like I don't know if I could do this. This is not what I thought. I'm sitting here thinking it's going to be all cutesy. You know, I'm going to get to kind of tinker with some cute hairstyles and boost kids' confidence, and yes, I get to do that. But I didn't take into consideration the other side of the fence. So you know, there being children with special needs or just babies in general, like this, is all new to them. So the first year was really hard and I wanted to quit a lot. I had a really hard time, but then I had a shift at one point and I was like maybe, if I just pay attention a little different, this, this could work. And so now I've been there for five years.
Speaker 1:Just like that.
Speaker 2:There it was. So is there? You know you talked about these kids with some disabilities and the babies, and a lot of that comes along with those sensory issues, and is there anything that you found that in particular, that works for? We know that there are. You know, all the students, all children, students children, you know, are different and have different sensitivities, like you know, there's you know touch, sound and having their hair wet or washed.
Speaker 2:Like Xander did not like the sound of the shears. He could do the clippers and for a long time he did not like the sound of the shears and until he was maybe about nine or ten, like jared said, he always had to just get bushy and he'd shave it off. And then it'd get bushy and he'd shave it off. So what did, what did you do to help overcome that with these kids?
Speaker 3:well, the first thing I did when I realized something needed to change in my methods Um, cause I would just get overwhelmed prior to I just started asking questions, um, and being a lot more vocal with the child. Because if you just come up to a child any child really, but especially one with sensory issues if you just walk up with them with this loud device, they're going to freak out. You know, it goes hand in hand with children that have had a lot of hospital visits they also or a lot of ear infections. They also tend to have some sensitivity because of those experiences.
Speaker 3:But really I just I started with a lot of questions and then I got my first experience with an ABA specialist where I could actually pick her brain and ask her what am I supposed to do? Like I know there's something that I could be doing a little better or I would just simply watch and observe, like how this specialist was communicating with the child, what things worked, whether it be we're going to count, and in that counting time I would have to be really fast and get through something. And once I got comfortable enough to start to exhibit that in my own way, then I started to see a lot of more improvements, but yeah, basically just making sure that they're aware it's safe, you know. If they say I'm scared, okay, what are you scared of? Let me help reassure you that this?
Speaker 3:isn't something to be scared of. Let me help reassure you that this isn't something to be scared of. It's okay that you're scared, et cetera. You know just a lot of communication. And for children that are nonverbal, I focus a lot on how the parents interact with them. Sometimes that's not how, it's not effective, so I do have to kind of step in, but for the most part I just kind of watch and observe. If they cower to me, going closer to the touch, well then, ok, I know that it's the vibration, maybe we should go with shears. Or if they're afraid of getting cut and they fixate on being cut, ok, well then we should do a buzz cut, just kind of acknowledging their comforts in whatever way they express it and leading with that.
Speaker 1:And we have found that that type of approach really is more successful whenever working with these children, because so we can say that all kids are different and there's some some truth to that, but at the same time there's a lot of similarities when you start looking at the autism spectrum. But the best way to serve any of these kids and I guess, pretty much humanity in general, is to listen, is to pay attention, to see the things that move them, what are the things that excite them, what are the things that, like you said, that scare them. And then you look at how can I replace that, how can I replace that fear, how can I replace that discomfort and then, at the same time, give them a good haircut? And so we see that a lot in, like I said, in the special education field, all the way around, and that's definitely one of those suggestions that you throw out. There is, hey, step one, watch and listen.
Speaker 2:Watch and listen. So do you have a lot of repeat clients come in?
Speaker 3:Yes, I would say and you know this is a very wide variety of sensory or children on the spectrum, but I'd say about 40% of my clientele have some form of sensory um hardship, or are nonverbal um or just disabled, like cannot walk on their own or in a wheelchair, cannot communicate or really kind of break down what's being said. So yeah, there's a wide variety of children with special needs that I serve.
Speaker 2:I know we talked a bit about you know you being around Zander for a good portion of his life and that you did start school, but other than that, have you had any specific trainings or experiences working with children with different disabilities?
Speaker 3:No, I just kind of learned as I went and I have a pretty decent memory with these things when it comes to details about people, and so I always know what worked, what didn't work, and if it's something that I'm not going to remember, I do keep track of it. We have the ability to, like, put notes in our system. So you know, if I have a child that fluctuates a lot like one day I can do a haircut in 15 minutes, it was great. And the next time they come in well, that one took 30 and they were angry, they were crying, like. I keep track of all of that so that I know what their progress looks like, cause sometimes it just isn't there.
Speaker 2:So it's important for me to know why you know that's, that's something that they, they teach us. So don't just try to figure out. You're not just trying to figure out how to calm them down. You're trying to figure out why they're upset. Yes, and that's huge, Because if you can figure that out, then you can use those replacement behaviors and teach them how to adjust and how to be okay with what you're getting ready to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we can keep going.
Speaker 3:Go ahead.
Speaker 1:But yeah, no, I don't have any certifications, I don't have any trainings.
Speaker 3:I don't have anything like that. People ask me though, to go to certain training I'm like no.
Speaker 2:No, I know that you are not afraid to ask questions and I, you know, you, you know we've had conversations and you, you know, messaged us a few times about okay, so what about this and what do you think about that. And I know you've read up on it and and done your research on your own and I think that's just fantastic and it's pretty cool to be able to say, hey, I know somebody when these parents are like, oh, his hair's getting long. We have a mini Xander in our class. He has the hair like Xander. He runs around the room like Xander did.
Speaker 2:And she's like, oh yeah, and he has the curls. And she's like, oh yeah, and he has the curls. And she's like my husband's getting ready to cut his hair and he's going to cut all his curls off and he's just going to have to use the clippers. And I was like, hey, wait, I know someone.
Speaker 1:We got a person.
Speaker 2:And they came to you. She was so excited that she got to take our little man down there to see you, and she was so nervous at first too, and she told me and but yeah, it's, it's really, it's really pretty neat to do that and be able to send these people down and know that there is there is an option.
Speaker 2:And yeah, um, because the more and more we can include our, our children with disabilities into everyday life and more they can experience, then I feel that they know the more benefits that they they will have almost kind of like a desensitize desensitizing them to how things work so that it isn't as impactful, right, you know, like in a negative way it can be more of a positive impact.
Speaker 3:Something else that I've realized is having like stem toys or like some type of sensory toy helps a lot too Like.
Speaker 3:In that case, his favorite thing was this little puzzle that just you had these little balls that had to be pushed up and it had a rotation to it and that's how I got through that haircut. You know, it's just kind of figuring out like, okay, this is just new, well, how can I kind of bring an element that isn't into this experience right now? So, yeah, that's another, another tool that has been important to have.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, haircuts aren't typically something that people think of when they think of, you know, having a child that is on the spectrum or has whatever disability or whatever. Because you always focus on what may be considered and let me qualify this after I say it something that might be considered more important, right? Because you think about, oh, the feeding possible and you want them to be able to experience life as close to normal as possible. And so when you start talking about things like that, it does go way past the typical big issues. But the going to a store right, xander going to a store was hard, taking him to do something like that. But getting a haircut going to the store was hard, taking him to do something like that. But getting a haircut going to the dentist, right. All of these other things that we don't think about very often.
Speaker 1:And the truth is that the people that work with students and individuals with disabilities, they have to have a desire to serve that group.
Speaker 1:If they don't, then there is way more frustration, and I'm sure there's been plenty of people that took the same route you did and bailed Because they probably entered wanting to just do hair. But it takes a special person to really, like you were saying, pay attention and to love them and want them to have an experience that is positive and really reinforces their desire to try new things. I know with Xander, one of the things we did when he started eating was we would ask him to try stuff, and if he tried it and didn't like it, it's like cool, you don't have to eat it because you tried it. And so what they did is allowed him to gain a sense of confidence when trying things, knowing that, even if it's disgusting, I don't have to do it again, and so it sounds like the same process that you're talking about when it comes to getting a haircut. I mean, this is something they're going to be doing for the rest of their lives. Yeah, they're going to be getting haircuts.
Speaker 1:That's right, and so you are setting them up with coping mechanisms that will allow them to again function better, in a general sense, in the world around them, and I think that's fantastic.
Speaker 3:Thanks. Yeah, it's been a journey, and I mean I've got all different ages too, so I've seen one. I have one young man that I've not been doing his hair directly for the five years, but I have been for the last year and a half and it's just so cool to see that breakthrough moment. You know, because, on the spectrum or not, we all have a brain. We all have like access points and ways to open it up and to see that in children that have, you know, a harder time deciphering what that is is, it's incredible. I really have a lot of joy. And when I can then get to a point where I can communicate and get a yes or a no out of the child, that's even better. Like you don't have to say much, if I can. You know that your yes is a yes and you know your no is a no. That's enough for me. We can do this Absolutely Well and you're building those relationships and you know your no is a no.
Speaker 2:That's enough for me. We can do this absolutely well and you're building those relationships and you're building trust with them and that's the biggest part yes, yep and so they know that, like, so they're not gonna, you're not gonna hurt them, and these sounds aren't gonna hurt and, um, even though this thing looks very sharp and pointy, you know, so there's gonna be in your ear.
Speaker 1:Yep, what is? What is the age group that you guys work with?
Speaker 3:We take as young as six months old. If the parents think the child needs a haircut to adults, we don't really have a restriction.
Speaker 1:Oh, very cool. See, now I know I would not have been that six month old kid because my head looked like a cue ball. Actually, it looked more like a bowling ball on a toothpick because my head is gigantic. It really is. It's a very large head and that has absolutely nothing to do with what we're talking about. I do know this, brian. I know that. I know your parents are super proud of you and it's funny because we have these conversations and I can hear them both when you're talking, and it's really exciting because they are great people. We love them to death. They're close friends of ours and this has nothing to do with cutting hair, but I did their wedding, that's right. That's right.
Speaker 1:I was around from the time that she was in middle school. So she's all grown up and got married. And have young'uns.
Speaker 2:And babies Cute babies too.
Speaker 1:Do you have any other questions for Mrs Curtis? Because I'm going to hit her with the big one, the big one, the big one.
Speaker 2:They're gonna big one, big one. I mean she's she. I think she was pretty um informative yes, yes, I. I don't know if I have any other questions I did. I do want to actually go back when you're talking about the ABA therapist. Was that an incident where they came in with a client, or were they a parent?
Speaker 3:Yes, with a client I've had two. The first one, the child, had her for, I think, about three or four haircuts. It was a military situation Dad was deployed, mom was pregnant, so she came in to kind of help and the first haircut took 45 minutes and we are now down to about 15 and there's no specialist. Um, we're having some communication changes that we're working through, but I am doing my best to understand. And then I have another one who I think he's four right now and his specialist comes every time. They've been seeing me for about a year and she's come every time for that whole time. This last one she tried to leave the building but they have pictures of her on the phone to kind of associate that she's still there. But I think they're in the process of transitioning her out of that experience.
Speaker 2:Right Giving him some independence.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've been able to talk with her a lot, though, you know, pick her brain, ask why she got into doing this, or I have mirrored a lot of her communication tactics. Maybe not they don't always work, but they're always worth a shot to try if I don't know what to do. Um, so she's the one that taught me that the short and direct responses are always accepted better. You know, it's like I feel like that's just child development in general, but especially like in this situation, like I have to be very three word, answer, right Short, and it's it's helped a lot.
Speaker 3:So I feel literal and yes, I feel blessed to have been able to learn from these ladies, cause you know, again I'm just kind of out here doing my best, right Figuring it out as I go.
Speaker 2:So we didn't even know that that was an option until we spoke with Rebecca and David. We had are they RBTs? No, they're more than that BCBAs.
Speaker 1:I don't know all the letters.
Speaker 2:I'm getting it messed up, but they come into the schools and work, and they also work at a private facility too, and I think that was one of the things that he talked about, that going out in the community and we were like, what do you mean you go out in the community? And he said, well, yeah, I've gone here, I've gone down, even gone to a haircut, and huh, okay, so that's. I think that's great that they provide that.
Speaker 3:It's really awesome.
Speaker 1:All right, here comes the big question you ready? Okay, what is your dad's deepest, darkest? No, I'm just kidding. No, let's not go with that.
Speaker 2:We don't want to go there.
Speaker 3:I actually don't know, so that would have been fine.
Speaker 1:Ooh good. No, my real question is this, though let's play a fun little game. This is the last time that you will get to make a statement concerning what you do and the not only what you do from a professional standpoint, but what you do from a relational standpoint and nobody will ever hear your voice again on this conversation. This is your last chance. What would you say?
Speaker 3:this conversation. This is your last chance what would you say?
Speaker 3:In regards to aiding the experience of a haircut Sounds good. Okay, I'm like there's a lot of avenues of this question here. That is a big one, man, I don't know. Just don't give up, Be persistent. You know, I see a lot of parents that they they won't come in often because they're afraid Plow through that Like just keep trying, because the more consistent you are with these experiences whether it's a haircut or just, you know, community exposure you have to keep doing it. Like, and even when it's hard, you can always walk out. You know you don't have to stay and create a traumatic experience. You can just say, okay, let's try again next week, but keep doing it, because that inconsistency is just not helpful for the overall experience. So I think that's really it, because I could say all these other things and I could give all these other insights, but I do think that just persistence is the key and to remain graceful, to have grace.
Speaker 1:Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 3:That is huge. That is like my fuel. I pour that in my coffee, right.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. She's, you know, has going along with our conversation with lindsey about. You know that, yeah, these these lives of parenting children with disabilities are messy, but the people that serve your kids, they're okay with that mess and and to keep trying and do the hard work now.
Speaker 1:I mean, what you're saying is kind of a common theme amongst our conversations with different professions, right? Whether it is an ABA therapist or a hairstylist or an occupational therapist or whatever, it is that same. Do the hard work now.
Speaker 2:Stick with it, stick with it, stick with it and it will pay off and if you're, if you are a parent looking for somebody to serve your child and love your child while they get their haircut. If you're not local, find you a brianna. If you are local, let me have one and we can and we can, uh, hook you up with where, where to go yeah, I'm there every week and that again.
Speaker 1:That was. That's Cookie Cutters, right, cookie Cutters in Yulee, in Yulee, florida, fantastic. But hey, we have no problem pushing that. Brianna, thank you so much for hanging out with us, yeah thanks for having me and having this conversation and we love you.
Speaker 3:Oh, I love you guys too.
Speaker 1:There's not a whole lot of guests. I think we said it to my mom, yeah Right, so see you're in really good company. But no, really thank you and as someone that has had the opportunity to watch you grow up, I'm super proud of you, as Laura is too. Thank you so much and we love your heart and keep doing what you're doing. You're appreciated. Thank you, all right, and I think that's we're going to wrap this episode up and we'll get it again next week. We'll see you later.